Saturday, May 20, 2017

Time Without Beginning - DTJ



We are always so aware of our ends. And so oblivious to our beginnings. Do our lives begin not at our births but at that moment we achieve a conscious memory? And is that memory always of this life? Can it be of the ones before?

And are our lives linear or cyclic? We talk of deja vu; that feeling of having been here before. What if we have?

I don't do dates. Dad died in August. I don't know the year. Mother on the day after Thanksgiving, very early some Friday morning. I can tell you my birth date because I memorized it to put on forms ad infinitum (again and again in the same way forever). These people lived, shared my life and moved on. What matters the exact dates?

Mother always said I lived too much in my head. Is there someplace else to live? My reality may not be your reality. I was ecstatic when I discovered philosophy high school. I am clearly an existentialist. And I know I have been this way before. More than once I believe.

But at the moment it is not so much about past lives as this one and whether it is a straight line or circles within circles. Anyone who was conscious in the Nixon years has to at least be feeling a deep sense of deja vu in this era of Trump. Doesn't mean we know how it will turn out. Life is not so much circles as spirals or loops. Are we advancing? Or receding?

If you are expecting an answer to any of these questions you will be disappointed. I am totally content to live in the question.

But for my doomsayer friends who think this might be the end of the world let me assure you it isn't. It will just morph into another stage for the conscious souls to act upon.

Okay, maybe I did re-read Alice in Wonderland to many times. Watched too much StarTrek. But both are good grounding for the bumpy road we are currently traveling.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Focus on the Positive - DTJ

First Summer for Deck
At least now there is sunshine and green and garden and vistas to divert my attention. But there is also meltdowns in the White House and totally non-functioning GOP congress, firing of the director of the FBI.

I try to focus on the positive in my life as the United States gets mired in a constitutional crisis. I keep YouTube news to the hours before dawn and in the evening when I am too tired to work outside. Yesterday I went to an Arts Council Round Table and got the news that funding for 2018 is currently save but who knows about 2019. If we still exist as a nation by then.

Meanwhile it has been a wet May which means no stress about wild fires in the neighboring forests. Course Thing One could sell it off to Exxon for oil exploration. But you have to take your fears one at a time. And with gardening season I can at least sandwich them between joys like moving out to my new deck from last fall. Today I plan to sit down and enjoy my efforts.

Well, after getting out with my camera and my dog for a walk.



If this is the end of days there is nothing we can do beyond enjoy the beauty around us while it lasts.



And definitely stop and smell the roses even if they are still just in the green house.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

On the Road to Raton - Escape the Dark News

On the road back
This was the week I largely divorced myself from the news; disconnected from the ethernet and drove the highways. No long road trip just several hops to neighboring towns. And of course Raton again. 

For me driving is meditative. I do not need a cell phone to make it interesting. It is along just for possible emergencies. And most of the places I drive the majority of the trip will be without a signal which is fine by me. I am willing to climb a hill if I must. And trust me OnStar is not available. I like it like that.

I don't even try the radio. Most stations I could get, when I can get them, are country western. My crying in my beer days are over. Both of my vehicles have radios I can plug my jump drives into and listen to my tunes. For entertainment I look for bison, pronghorns, elk, and that quality of light which turns the view to magic. If I see none of the above I just drive into another zone as it were.

Raton this week was a gift. As was the two days in Las Vegas. La La Land. Raton provided a hardware store. I really am still in withdrawal from the sale of RBS and the new owners making it not Harriet Homeowner friendly. Usually I drive to Taos for Ace (probably Monday). But the Ace in Raton provided me garden soil and some great vegetable starts and some nice pots in my price range. With a deck I can do more container gardening close to the studio door.

So the trip was more than an escape from world reality. It provided quiet time to plan and think and regain my center. To pause and see what is great around me. If and when the nuclear fall out from a war with Korea erases life as we know it. I will be grateful for the life I have lived. Even just the time on the road to Raton.