Control is an Illusion

I usually slide between seasons easily with no regret beyond being a bit unprepared when it comes to winter. But this year I have totally resisted it. I want to lay the blame on everything which was going beginning in October. My focus was definitely in a very different place. The first snow came as a shock.

The whole fall into winter knocked me off balance. I overate. I binged on coffee to excess. I try to live in a delicate balance. I feel better when I do. But suddenly I was not feeling good. I had gotten dehydrated from not drinking enough water and drinking too much coffee. And my blood sugar was all over the place because I was not eating on my schedule but the holiday schedule of friends who wanted to do lunch, etc. And I had gained nine pounds.

Since that rude awakening a couple weeks ago I have been trying to be better. Since healthy living was a previous habit it was not difficult to get back to it. But I did not get the immediate results I expected. But I have cut my coffee back to two cups and some times 2 and a half. I have seriously made myself drink water. I have bought and worked into my schedule some detox and cleansing teas. And as of this morning lost four pounds. I am beginning to believe I will recover from this. And the anxiety it created in my life.

Recentering.