Patience is not my long suit. I sometimes wonder if I am here on earth this incarnation to learn patience. My life seems to be so much about it and that I do not have it. I am chronically on time or early and every friend I have but one is chronically late. I live in the land of manana (btw that does not mean tomorrow but some as yet specified future time). And I am a self-starter which means that everyone else is already behind.
That makes life frustrating. I have learned to cope by always bringing entertainment with me - once a book and now the Kindle or my tablet or a sketch book. The camera is a constant and I can take pictures waiting in the line at the drive through or on the corner waiting to meet with a friend or sitting in the restaurant waiting for the wait staff. Note: if you read a book they think they can ignore you longer, but a camera annoys them and you can get faster service.
I began this modified vow of silence on Facebook just five days ago and I already googled the number of days till Easter. Forty-One. Naturally I picked one of the longest Lent's possible. And to vex me further I am looking for a tenant for my rental unit. I was suppose to have one yesterday so I think it is natural to want one tomorrow. I do not. That is the bad news. The good news is I am getting a lot of inquiries which I must respond to; answering the same questions again and again. And I have decided to make all serious possible tenants fill out an application which will only prolong the process.
I think I have been too impatient in the past - decide in haste and repent in leisure. And if the prospective tenant is reluctant to fill out the application that is a sign they are hiding something or just as impatient as I am. And I have been through this process before - too often recently. There has been the ever present Nigerian scam attempt, the one that seemed on the phone but does not do stairs, the wants to live in the country but really the mall is two hours away, the one just looking at what is available should hey decide to move? I want to fast forward so I can get a tenant and get on with life.
Yes, I know life is a journey and it moves at its own pace. But I am obviously listening to a marching band in my heart. So the universe gives me waiting practice like the three year lawsuit with the two year let-us-not-rush-to-judgement final judgement. Then there is my dear friend with her dying husband on year eight. Little did I know the length of this ordeal when I promised to support her through it. I engage in the arts where I am constantly having to submit pieces for a snail jury and then wait for the judge to ascribe them merit. And for the last few years me and my studio have been waiting for the recovery of the economy.
So why isn't it at least Palm Sunday and all the revealed truth is in my possession? I want to get on with my life. And I resist that this is my life. I am waiting for Godot. Spoiler alert - Godot never shows up. There is even supreme doubt Godot exists. It is after all and existentialist play.
When the Zen Master attained Enlightenment
he wrote the following lines to celebrate:
'Oh, wondrous marvel:
I chop wood!
I draw water from the well!'