Satori - Part II of on the Road to Raton

Distant Promise by J. Binford-Bell

Supposedly for a good black and white landscape you need a noisy sky. I feel as if my life this winter and spring has been a noisy sky. So much going on around me. Some things I have written about like the tenant situation and some not. Some things I have actually not been aware of myself. It is like not noticing the clouds until a dark one shuts out the sun. And some nagging little things I ignore because to acknowledge them might give them power. Denial is a God given survival skill after all.

The bad tenants and the things I had to do in order to rent the apartment to get a good tenant of course caused financial issues. And it takes a while to catch up once you get behind. And that of course causes stress.

And then some years back I committed support to my neighbor when her husband was diagnosed with a fatal cancer. At the time I made that commitment she and I figured months. It has been years. Not all of them critical. But since Good Friday his health has taken a downward spiral and his post traumatic stress has made him very difficult to live with and he refuses to believe he is dying so she cannot get hospice help. Caregivers sometimes die of the stress they are under. Sometimes they die before the person receiving care. I am not sure what the stats are for people caring for the caregivers but suffice it to say it ups the stress.

I carry my stress in my neck and shoulders. Not good since the CBT and neck injury. And I have a high pain threshold so I get along entirely too long with denial. To distract myself from recognizing the pain I eat. Standing before the mirror Wednesday after my bath and before taking off to Raton it hit me how much I have been eating. And in the early part of my Road to Raton meditation I put it all together. In Raton I bought more of my favorite and most effective over the counter pain reliever and began taking the minimum dose. And away went my nagging hunger. Movement is easier and the thought of exercise now seems less like torture.

Less pain and less stress. If I can get back into yoga it will mean all the less stress. Hopefully the noisy skies in my life will follow suit and quiet down.

Comments

  1. The Blog of BeeMay 31, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    I hope the noisy skies abate for you.

    Stress is an all too powerful factor in many lives. Controlling what it does to you is an art. Over the years I have learned to recognize the signs and so have some coping tricks up my sleeve which when stress really hits, may or may not be effective. Panic attacks are my worst nightmare and even though I know all the signs at of the onset,, coping with that one is not easy. I too carry stress in my neck and shoulders.

    We all do what works for us and trying out friendly advice from close friends can help at times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JBinford-BellMay 31, 2013 at 8:26 AM

      Winter before last I really suffered from panic attacks and then I discovered kelp. But you are allergic to sea food so would not work for you I guess. But I think it is a thyroid problem.

      They do really scare me.

      Delete
    2. The Blog of BeeMay 31, 2013 at 8:33 AM

      They scare me too. Apart from traditional medicines I have Bach`s Rescue Remedy which is a miracle worker for all sorts of problems. Works on animals too and I have been known to give it give it to
      my plants as well.James just brought me a bottle back from the UK but you can buy it on line. There is a flower remedy for every ailment and I know they work.

      Delete
  2. ShaynacwingsMay 31, 2013 at 5:47 PM

    I know what you guys mean, the neck and shoulders is where I cop it too. Rescue remedy is great and I even have a remedy that squashes cravings that work. This type of remedies are easy to get here.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.

Popular posts from this blog

Swimming

Image
For much of my college career my fitness workout was swimming on the B squad of the swim team. I remember it as the days before heated pools and women coaches. I also remember being so exhausted and cold I could only lean against the shower wall and throw up. Not exactly warm fuzzy images but I was in awesome shape. Needless to say it did not leave me with a overpowering desire to swim laps. Point of fact for years my swimming became really informal: Swimming to shore after the canoe tipped over, challenging my sister once a summer to across the lake and back, seeing how long I could back float without moving a muscle, and a scuba course. I also played around with other ways of staying fit: aerobics, bicycling, jogging, skiing and dance classes. All of which seem to be bad for the knees, back or feet. After my ski accident my physical therapist steered me back to the pool. Damn if I was going to swim laps! However, aqua fit was just getting rather seriously taken so I took it. It r
Read more

The Pruning the Crown of Thorns

Image
Crown of Thorns Before I am a lover of Euphorbias . They are from the deserts of Southern Africa and Madagascar. They have evolved physical characteristics and forms similar to cacti of North and South America and are often incorrectly referred to as cacti. My big Crown of Thorns was one of my first of a growing collection of these succulents from the spurge family of Euphorbiaceae. I picked it up as a 6 inch plant in a New Iberia nursery when my sister and I were touring the northern gulf coast. I believe that was 15 years ago. I made an attempt at limiting its height a few years back to allow it to devote more energy to the new branches and make it a denser plant. That failed. And the height of the plant continued to challenge the window space and soon the long branches were leaning over and leaning against the window. I googled and found the proper way to prune this treasured plant. Still it was very difficult to cut off the four longer branches. Even with a plan. The f
Read more

Eagle Nest Dam

Image
Tour of Eagle Nest Dam Eagle Nest Dam is the largest privately built dam in the United States. It was begun by the Springer family in 1917 and completed in 1920. It and the reservoir beyond it one was privately owned by the CS Ranch which recently sold it to the state of New Mexico. Eagle Nest Lake is now a state park, but the dam and the waters in the lake are another matter all together. Water is well regulated in New Mexico especially during a drought. The lake is now at 25% of its normal capacity, and the water in the lake are water right lease holds of Raton, Cimarron, and historic ranches in the area like the UU Bar and the CS Ranch. Game and Fish department also get involved because the Cimarron River is an active fishery of the state. Our guide was a state engineer and the Gateway Museum secured permission of the land owners below the dam for us to gain access to the area. Some 100 locals and tourists attended this rare event. I have lived here almost twenty years and th
Read more