I Love Being Alone



When I was very young I was told repeatedly I was shy. I was always at the edge of play and when given a choice would go to my room and draw or to the fork of the cottonwood in the backyard and read. In school I always got the "does not play well with others" in the notations on the back of the card.

My sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Hill, was the first to comprehend I did better on my own. When we had school plays or concerts to prepare for I did the scenery or was sent to the office to redecorate all the bulletin boards in the lobby of the school.

In high school I never went to dances or decorated for them. My participation in school electives was designing the cover for the literary magazine. In physical education I liked gymnastics or modern dance. As an adult I hike with a couple friends with our dogs but not the Trekkers. I liked skiing because I competed with myself. Photography was always there in my life because it was something I could do from the edge of a crowd or all by myself or with another photographer. I like my crowds small. Very small. Two is company and three is a crowd could have been coined by me.

I do have friends but I prefer limits on numbers and exposure. And most of my closest friends are of the same mind.

Every once in a while I dip a toe in social waters and come away chilled to the bone. You think at my age I would know better. I really I do. I just get stupid now and then and commit to something I know will leave me bruised and exhausted and full of self-loathing.

Remind me the next time I agree to be on a committee or board or accept an invitation to a party.

Comments

  1. One of the joys of growing older is being free to choose solitude! Shuddering at the memory of childhood. Recess was the worst. Too bad we did not have a place to retreat to with a book, I would have been fine. As for groups, grin. I like the idea, but suck at the reality. I love the combination of solitude and companionship that the internet makes possible. Come to think of it, in older days correspondence filled much the same niche.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.

Popular posts from this blog

Swimming

The Pruning the Crown of Thorns

Polyethylene Packaging - a Dark Times Journal entry