A Long Time Grieving



If I am going to be totally honest with myself I began to grieve for the loss of dreams on the day of Trump's inaugural address. And while we are being totally honest I did not listen to it. I read it. I have never been able to listen to him. The world he described was not one I welcomed. And one I began to fight the minute he was elected.

I was mostly worried he would get us in a nuclear war. Instead he got us into a pandemic. One he refuses to admit to. Why do I think he chose this on purpose? If all the old people die he can eliminate SS and Medicare. And if it only happens in Democratic led states he can eliminate opposition to his re-election. All which should make me angry. Instead I just want to cry.

Good I am self-isolating because I am crying and very unexpected times. Grief, a friend reminded me, is like that. Can you grieve for four solid years? Or is it a new grief on top of an old grief not yet moved beyond. But I accept this. This is the death of our nation. The death of our dreams. The death of a people. Those of us who survive this will be very different. Not sure I will like them.

The good news is I do not need moisturizing eye drops any more.

Comments

  1. Terry RoweMarch 28, 2020 at 1:18 PM

    Grieving here too. Layers of grief catching up to us now that we’re forced to slow down, stop moving. And yes, lots of random tears.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Peg StaleyMarch 28, 2020 at 4:41 PM

    I hadn't thought of it as grieving but that does explain so much for me! old griefs and new ones too! argh! I wish I could move on, but don't think that will happen as long as IQ45 is still in office and not pleased with DNC's preferred dementia candidate!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Blog of BeeApril 8, 2020 at 11:51 AM

    This is a time of grief and yes, the tears are not only for our present situation but thedark times of our past.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JBinford-BellApril 12, 2020 at 3:50 AM

    Since I wrote this I have in self-isolation thought about what makes me the saddest. What do I grieve for the most. I think it is the future. None of us is sure we have a future. We cannot make plans for anything ahead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Blog of BeeApril 12, 2020 at 4:24 PM

      I try to live in the present and not think aout the future. Not easy but I meditate in an effort to keep off the anxiety. Doesn't always work and I still lapseinto the 'what ifs??.....

      Delete

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