White Knuckling It



I must admit, if you have not figured this out already, that I am I can be a rather compulsive person. No, my house is not obsessively neat, rather the reverse. I think at times I am almost compulsively messy. Having the house too neat would be erasing me from it.

And I am not compulsive all the time. I am rather manic compulsive if there is such a thing. I can swing along through life feeling the breeze in my hair and then suddenly slam into a tree and want to take control of everything including the vine and the breeze.

I am in one of my compulsive phases. The tree I hit was the lawsuit. Obviously swinging was over for a while. Sitting at the base of huge trees in my path creates an urge to redesign the entire forest. Current re-design plans included, beyond the lawsuit, losing weight, keeping heating costs really low, turning all but one light off, not running out of firewood before April 1st, decluttering that mess I spoke of earlier, getting back to exercise daily, coming up with the perfect promotion plan for my art, making more money than ever before, and stopping my depression right now. Actually, I think there were a couple other things in that list, hmmmm?

If you get too many balls in the air, sooner or later, you will drop one. Then it occurs to you that you have been juggling them while walking the balcony rail, and the next thing you know you are holding on to that rail to avoid falling into the void below. White knuckling it. It dawned on me yesterday, when I could not take total advantage of my creative escape weekend, that I might be holding on to things too hard. You have to be in swing mode to paint. My internet friend, Bee, totally out of the blue, suggested ice cream. You do have to let go of rails to eat it.


I got caramel chocolate cow tracks. I love pouring cream over it. Sort of a cream float. Right! Definitely have let the diet ball drop. Then I got the e-mail from the attorney saying that she thought we were in a good enough space to not have our meeting on Monday - just Wednesday. So I get to extend my creative escape weekend. I get to swing through the trees. And eat ice cream.

Comments

  1. JacquizJanuary 9, 2010 at 7:15 AM

    I know exactly what you mean by swinging..being a Gemini like you..and yes we are kind of Compulsive people..I have a big cleanup about once a week,can't stand filth,but a little untidiness is ok lol..I mean to say we have probably created it anyway.

    We are also deep thinkers,very often to our own detriment,I know I am like that,we think of stuff that probably will never ever happen.

    I know in your situation I would be exactly like you are,almost drive ourselves batty with our brain,and I can understand at you not being able to paint while your brain is in that mode.

    Why don't you get your knitting out..something that might be a challenge..have the NPR radio going beside you and see if you can switch off a little..

    As for the ice-cream..yummy..and I also love cream poured over my ice-cream..and it kind of freezes..hehe how bloody disgusting and yummy.

    Now Jacs, you just switch that brain of yours off now sweets..everything is all going to be ok..get your wool bag out and get creative ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  2. JBinford-BellJanuary 9, 2010 at 8:22 AM

    Oh, I do have the yarn out. Every afternoon when the energy wanes I sit in the easy chair under afghans I have crocheted and watch a DVD while working on some new knitting project.

    Lately I have been into doing fingerless gloves for myself and my friends that like to read in bed or sit up on the computer late.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.

Popular posts from this blog

Swimming

Image
For much of my college career my fitness workout was swimming on the B squad of the swim team. I remember it as the days before heated pools and women coaches. I also remember being so exhausted and cold I could only lean against the shower wall and throw up. Not exactly warm fuzzy images but I was in awesome shape. Needless to say it did not leave me with a overpowering desire to swim laps. Point of fact for years my swimming became really informal: Swimming to shore after the canoe tipped over, challenging my sister once a summer to across the lake and back, seeing how long I could back float without moving a muscle, and a scuba course. I also played around with other ways of staying fit: aerobics, bicycling, jogging, skiing and dance classes. All of which seem to be bad for the knees, back or feet. After my ski accident my physical therapist steered me back to the pool. Damn if I was going to swim laps! However, aqua fit was just getting rather seriously taken so I took it. It r
Read more

The Pruning the Crown of Thorns

Image
Crown of Thorns Before I am a lover of Euphorbias . They are from the deserts of Southern Africa and Madagascar. They have evolved physical characteristics and forms similar to cacti of North and South America and are often incorrectly referred to as cacti. My big Crown of Thorns was one of my first of a growing collection of these succulents from the spurge family of Euphorbiaceae. I picked it up as a 6 inch plant in a New Iberia nursery when my sister and I were touring the northern gulf coast. I believe that was 15 years ago. I made an attempt at limiting its height a few years back to allow it to devote more energy to the new branches and make it a denser plant. That failed. And the height of the plant continued to challenge the window space and soon the long branches were leaning over and leaning against the window. I googled and found the proper way to prune this treasured plant. Still it was very difficult to cut off the four longer branches. Even with a plan. The f
Read more

Eagle Nest Dam

Image
Tour of Eagle Nest Dam Eagle Nest Dam is the largest privately built dam in the United States. It was begun by the Springer family in 1917 and completed in 1920. It and the reservoir beyond it one was privately owned by the CS Ranch which recently sold it to the state of New Mexico. Eagle Nest Lake is now a state park, but the dam and the waters in the lake are another matter all together. Water is well regulated in New Mexico especially during a drought. The lake is now at 25% of its normal capacity, and the water in the lake are water right lease holds of Raton, Cimarron, and historic ranches in the area like the UU Bar and the CS Ranch. Game and Fish department also get involved because the Cimarron River is an active fishery of the state. Our guide was a state engineer and the Gateway Museum secured permission of the land owners below the dam for us to gain access to the area. Some 100 locals and tourists attended this rare event. I have lived here almost twenty years and th
Read more