Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Temporarily Derailed

The Denver and Rio Grande Western ran the Chili Line until 1941. There was a trestle on that narrow gauge line which ran between Espanola, NM and Alamosa, Colorado which was known for derailments. It had too steep a grade and too tight a curve. I feel lately like an engineer on a steam locomotive headed for that trestle.

I am currently derailed without a clue of how to get back on track. The Blizzard Lizard, my transportation for six years had gasped its last. And it has been a long, long time since I have sought a used car. And then my ex-husband was alive to help. I really feel his loss at the moment as much as I feel abandoned by transportation. I got a fortune cookie recently which had the fortune: You will receive a wheeled adventure.  I hope that was not about getting back from outside Cimarron when the van broke down. I hope it is about a new (or new to me) car. I know I have to seek a replacement but at the moment I have not a clue what I want really. See previous blog about Skinner boxes.

Then I got this horoscope yesterday:  If you are in a quandary right now, turn to someone who has years of experience in the area that's confusing you. This person's insightful intelligence surpasses his or her communication skills, so be patient and be prepared to ask a lot of clarifying questions. Help!

That is the downside of my life right now. On the plus side I have discovered I have tons of great friends above and beyond those that are willing to pray for me. I have friends reaching out and offering real assistance as in temporary transportation, ways to continue to be able to do the fair in June which I need to provide money for that new vehicle, and encouragement that I will surmount this too.

I had said when one of those friends was giving me a ride back from Cimarron that I didn't need another problem. And of course when I got home there was one. HUD wants to inspect my apartment I rent in May and not July when I expected it. So I have had to scrape the funds together to get the screens the winds blew off. Now I have to retype the lease and renewal letter as that was just a fraction of the documentation lost when the nerd wiped my computer after the hard drive crash. This needs to be done before car shopping.

And I need to visit NM Motor Vehicle office in Angel Fire and get whatever I need to pronounce the van dead and not in my possession anymore. Yesterday I suspended my insurance and will get a credit to be applied to new insurance for new vehicle when I find it.

Then I can think about car shopping. Where I live it has to be all-wheel or four wheel drive. To continue to do art shows logic says a van, but with rising gas prices I am considering a smallish SUV with towing capacity so I can rent a Uhaul trailer when a fair needs to be done. And so if this is a sign it is time to give up art fairs I will not be saddled to a gas guzzler. In the future, I would like to own a covered utility trailer that can serve also as storage for booth furniture.

But fortunately none of those things need to be decided right this minute. Which reminds me of the end of Gone with the Wind. I read the book and saw the movie several times. When Scarlet, after Rhett leaves, says she will think about it tomorrow in reference to getting him back I believed in the movie she would. But in reading the same lines in the book I had no hope. I'll think about it tomorrow is not avoidance for me but letting go because I haven't the time or the energy or the assistance I need just that moment to be rational about the solution.

And so, loyal readers, that is where I am just now. First things first and maybe by the time I wade through that the solution to my other problems will be miraculously revealed even if it is in a fortune cookie. Times have changed. I no longer expect a chorus of angels on high. Besides which even their messages were rather cryptic too.


  1. It can never ever be just one thing at a time as has been proved over and over again. So the only thing to do is to take each challenge at a time and deal with it - not try to do everything at once. But you know that - am just reinforcing it. what can I say? No one ever said it would be easy and at times. life's a bitch0. I feel your pain 0 life without wheels where you live cannot be easy - I know that feeling but it will e sorted, I know it will. I am thinking of you as I deal with problems of a different nature. I agree with whoever said "you can never be too rich" although my position is that as long as one has what they need to live and live properly, that's about as much as one can ask for. Anything else is a bonus.

  2. Wise advice from Bee. All I can say is: you have my sincere sympathy. Sorry I don't do prayer....
    Have you seen Mr. Deity and the messages? Search for it on youtube.


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