Saturday, March 8, 2014

Enough Already


There are times when the currents of life get off balance. Or the tides are just going against you. Or you have skated along too smoothly and it is all catching up. And having just had a great bitch session with my neighbor I fully believe it is a tidal wave or sea change or something. This is not just about me.

Yes, there is a lot going on in my life right now. That hit me this morning when I came down the bedroom stairs and realized my aging standard poodle, Mardi Gras, had not had the best of nights. She is in beginning of liver failure and has her better or worse days. The vitamins the vet prescribed are doing well when Mardi deems to take them. She is great at cheeking pills. She managed to get my curling iron down the stairs, the dog food bowls knocked over, three of my six foot cacti laying down, etc.

She was trapped in the far corner of the studio behind the Crown of Thorns. And I was so exhausted last night I did not hear a sound from downstairs. So add lots of guilt to the good night's sleep.

My eyes are still soft boiled after the extensive cataract exam. And I was befuddled enough  it took me a couple days to realize I probably have a mild allergy to the drops they put in my eyes. This does not bode well for the two surgeries in my future. Yes, they are suppose to be a piece of cake but it takes no fewer than six trips to Santa Fe. All while I have a seriously ill dog and a one-woman-gallery show to prepare for.

And gardening season is approaching. And there is always a bevy of critics. No not art critics. Organizational critics. Ever notice how everyone is more than willing to let you do it ALL until they think you did it wrong (even when they haven't a clue what wrong is) and then they are all over you to fix it now (when of course they could have done it in the first place)?

Enough already. I quit.

10 comments:

  1. No you don't quit. You stand back, take stock and compartmentalize into priorities. From where I'm standing, the eyes are number one, Mardi, number two and and the one woman show, number three. Anything in between, in front or behind is of no consequence and that includes the people who are disturbing your spirit,

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    1. I agree with you whole heartedly Bee.

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  2. I think you are worried about your dog. I think you are faced with her loss and it is overwhelming you in the grief you are feeling. Everything else is just too much on top of your worry about your dog. I prescribe a day for the two of you that is quiet. Do you have anyone who you can delegate some of the show to. There are often people who can help if they only know of the need. Reach out to someone. You may be surprised to find that they just needed to be asked. In the meantime, hugs.

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    1. The show in July is all mine. I was trying to get others of my artists guild to take some responsibility for the guild and the exhibits we launch. But everyone one figured I was the only one that could do that. So I quit.

      I think the eye surgery and the end of days with my dog of 15 years is enough in addition to the July show.

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  3. I think the grief over the dog is making everything else seem overwhelming.
    Talk to your doctor about the eye drops. Ask someone to help you with the show - even just a few things off of your plate will renew perspective. You are facing the loss of you beloved dog and that is so very hard. It colors everything else in the darkest way. Take some time for the two of you - go on one of your walks with her. I am so sorry, I wish I were closer. I would help. I wish could give you a big hug. I know what it is to face such a loss. It is devastating. I would reach out for some help with the show. People understand more than you realize. Tell them what you said here. I bet they will step up and help.

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  4. I am so sorry to hear about your companion. I have been wondering how old she was and how much longer she had. It does sound like that is a lot to cope with. Is there any way you can postpone the eye surgery till after the show?

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    1. The eye doctor thought I should have at least one eye done before the July show. They have gotten bad very fast.

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  5. Take care of your eyes, your health. Mardi's life will play out as it will, you're doing the best you can for her and if love would have our dogs live forever they would. The advice I give to myself when life overwhelms is classic, one step, one day, one thing at a time. Thinking of you.

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  6. I don't want to be a kill joy but on a practical note there are certain things you cannot do for a while after eye surgery including bending or lifting. The show would mean you having to bend and lift. Not a good idea. You must wear the dark glasses even if there is no sun - glare is terribly painful when it hits your eye.

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  7. I have to agree with Terry and Bee Jacqui. Terry has said the words for me and no doubt better than I can too. Without you and your eyes where will everything/one be? Take care sweetheart and know we are all here for you. Hugs.

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