|Mardi Gras and Magique|
Sometimes you do not know how out of balance your life is until you cannot stand it any more. It isn't always the big things. Sometimes it is an accumulation of a bunch of little things that do not get better. And sometimes it is us humans which are the last to see it.
Since I took Wolfie back to his house to care for him there an interesting change has come about in my household. First was that Willow immediately accepted the kittens. Two was that the kittens immediately expanded into the entire house and stopped hiding in the corner. And three was that Mardi got better.
Mardi is 15 and a half now. I have been treating her with vitamins for a liver ailment for a couple years, and the last couple of winters I have wondered if this will be her last. This one really felt like it. I had a difficult time getting her to join in with the morning walks. They were short walks because I was trying to teach Wolfie to walk right on a leash. Mardi always hung back as if she hadn't the strength but I knew she needed the exercise. So mornings were this tussle with getting the leash on Wolfie and Mardi out from under the library table or hunt her out in any of a couple hiding places.
Once I took Wolfie back to his yard I resumed the morning walks with Mardi and Magique only off in the country and not just down the road. Magique resumed her duties of keeping track of where the old lady was - me and Mardi - and I had my hands free for the camera and my attention back to taking pictures. Well, I also always watch for where my dogs are, but Magique knows she and her pal have to be within sight of me. And Mardi started prancing again. Joy returned to our morning walks.
I know my mood got better when I was able to take my morning walk with camera and friends. And when my attention at home could be on writing or painting or gardening instead of counting kittens and dogs. Ito had destroyed my faith in how my friend had raised her dogs. I was on edge with Wolfie around. But it was not just my fur pack which was out of sync.
This winter has shown me I was out of sync with the humans in my life. Since my neighbor has been gone I have gotten re-involved in the hood; back in touch with the movers and shakers in the art community. That dynamic has been out of whack for some time because of my dedication to helping my friend and neighbor through her despair following her husband's death. I was free to go with a whim of a day trip with camera or an extended business lunch because I did not have to worry.
I am free at last. I and my household are reclaiming balance. But I dread my neighbor and former friend's return. She has the power to suck me back into her pack dynamic. I do not want to go there even for coffee in the mornings.