Been There. Done That



The news is all about the sexual abuse culture of our leaders and "heroes." We sloughed last year reports of the man who would become president grabbing pussy because women let him because he was a star. Or because he had the power to fire them. That is part of the abuse: the power. The power to ruin the life of the abused.

 I first ran into it while working as a store manager for So Fro fabrics. I was shocked. I quit. Toyed with bringing charges and was discouraged from doing so. Next job I applied for asked why I had quit the previous job. I lied. Something innocent like I wanted a change. I had been told the truth would blacklist me from all future jobs. And in those days companies called about references. 

 I ultimately landed a great job working for an international construction firm. Their CEO had a reputation which would make Trump, Cosby, and Weinstein look like pussies. My immediate supervisor had somehow gotten the information that I had quit to avoid filing a sexual harassment suit. Yes, I had consulted a free legal service representing women at that time. But wasn't that suppose to be confidential. His solution was to give me paid days off any time the CEO was making a job site visit.

 The CEO's reputation was so wide spread that the companies my firm worked for knew about him. They also sent their women employees to the movies when he visited. We all joked about it on our free lunches. There was always nervous laughter. To look non-discriminatory I was put on all bids for jobs we were seeking with government divisions like the Corps of Engineers. I was the girl engineer. I was proving we did not have a rapist as CEO.

 I enjoyed my work but lived in fear that it was dependent upon my good behavior. I had found a position where I was one grope away from losing my job because I knew I would slug anyone that tried it. Ultimately I decided working for myself was the best solution.

 So I have been there and done that. I know the pain the women coming forward have been going through and will continue to go through. I also know all the talent which has been lost because of hostile work places. I believe I know why women only climb so high. I know I limit my exposure to such situations. I know I freeze up when talking to men in power even after all these years. And in spite of the understanding I got from that last corporate job. 

 I have been there and done that and my biggest aim is to avoid all situations where it could happen again. Does anyone who hasn't been there understand how limiting that can be?

Comments

  1. Ien in the KootenaysOctober 11, 2017 at 10:01 PM

    How awful to have to experience that. Powerful post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Blog of BeeOctober 18, 2017 at 11:52 AM

    Sad, isn't it? I was able to get myself out of situations although I have to admit regardless of stand-offishness, some were more difficult than others. With hindsight, I think my aloofness was sometimes not always to my advantage. It probably made the perpetrators in those cases, more determined. The men I had to deal with were mainly in the world of sport and entertainment so were famous and continue to be. However, I escaped the whole 60s and 70s thing unharmed. But, today, even at my age, I am very aware that there are men who given an inch, would take a yard. I didn't think I'd get to this stage of my life and be uncomfortable in the company of certain men - and some younger than me too!

    ReplyDelete

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