Been There. Done That



The news is all about the sexual abuse culture of our leaders and "heroes." We sloughed last year reports of the man who would become president grabbing pussy because women let him because he was a star. Or because he had the power to fire them. That is part of the abuse: the power. The power to ruin the life of the abused.

 I first ran into it while working as a store manager for So Fro fabrics. I was shocked. I quit. Toyed with bringing charges and was discouraged from doing so. Next job I applied for asked why I had quit the previous job. I lied. Something innocent like I wanted a change. I had been told the truth would blacklist me from all future jobs. And in those days companies called about references. 

 I ultimately landed a great job working for an international construction firm. Their CEO had a reputation which would make Trump, Cosby, and Weinstein look like pussies. My immediate supervisor had somehow gotten the information that I had quit to avoid filing a sexual harassment suit. Yes, I had consulted a free legal service representing women at that time. But wasn't that suppose to be confidential. His solution was to give me paid days off any time the CEO was making a job site visit.

 The CEO's reputation was so wide spread that the companies my firm worked for knew about him. They also sent their women employees to the movies when he visited. We all joked about it on our free lunches. There was always nervous laughter. To look non-discriminatory I was put on all bids for jobs we were seeking with government divisions like the Corps of Engineers. I was the girl engineer. I was proving we did not have a rapist as CEO.

 I enjoyed my work but lived in fear that it was dependent upon my good behavior. I had found a position where I was one grope away from losing my job because I knew I would slug anyone that tried it. Ultimately I decided working for myself was the best solution.

 So I have been there and done that. I know the pain the women coming forward have been going through and will continue to go through. I also know all the talent which has been lost because of hostile work places. I believe I know why women only climb so high. I know I limit my exposure to such situations. I know I freeze up when talking to men in power even after all these years. And in spite of the understanding I got from that last corporate job. 

 I have been there and done that and my biggest aim is to avoid all situations where it could happen again. Does anyone who hasn't been there understand how limiting that can be?

Comments

  1. Ien in the KootenaysOctober 11, 2017 at 10:01 PM

    How awful to have to experience that. Powerful post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Blog of BeeOctober 18, 2017 at 11:52 AM

    Sad, isn't it? I was able to get myself out of situations although I have to admit regardless of stand-offishness, some were more difficult than others. With hindsight, I think my aloofness was sometimes not always to my advantage. It probably made the perpetrators in those cases, more determined. The men I had to deal with were mainly in the world of sport and entertainment so were famous and continue to be. However, I escaped the whole 60s and 70s thing unharmed. But, today, even at my age, I am very aware that there are men who given an inch, would take a yard. I didn't think I'd get to this stage of my life and be uncomfortable in the company of certain men - and some younger than me too!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.

Popular posts from this blog

Swimming

Image
For much of my college career my fitness workout was swimming on the B squad of the swim team. I remember it as the days before heated pools and women coaches. I also remember being so exhausted and cold I could only lean against the shower wall and throw up. Not exactly warm fuzzy images but I was in awesome shape. Needless to say it did not leave me with a overpowering desire to swim laps. Point of fact for years my swimming became really informal: Swimming to shore after the canoe tipped over, challenging my sister once a summer to across the lake and back, seeing how long I could back float without moving a muscle, and a scuba course. I also played around with other ways of staying fit: aerobics, bicycling, jogging, skiing and dance classes. All of which seem to be bad for the knees, back or feet. After my ski accident my physical therapist steered me back to the pool. Damn if I was going to swim laps! However, aqua fit was just getting rather seriously taken so I took it. It r
Read more

The Pruning the Crown of Thorns

Image
Crown of Thorns Before I am a lover of Euphorbias . They are from the deserts of Southern Africa and Madagascar. They have evolved physical characteristics and forms similar to cacti of North and South America and are often incorrectly referred to as cacti. My big Crown of Thorns was one of my first of a growing collection of these succulents from the spurge family of Euphorbiaceae. I picked it up as a 6 inch plant in a New Iberia nursery when my sister and I were touring the northern gulf coast. I believe that was 15 years ago. I made an attempt at limiting its height a few years back to allow it to devote more energy to the new branches and make it a denser plant. That failed. And the height of the plant continued to challenge the window space and soon the long branches were leaning over and leaning against the window. I googled and found the proper way to prune this treasured plant. Still it was very difficult to cut off the four longer branches. Even with a plan. The f
Read more

Polyethylene Packaging - a Dark Times Journal entry

Image
I was in the fourth grade when our family moved from El Paso, Texas to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We moved because I could not breathe the air there. I want to say they cracked petroleum there. But what did I know beyond the sky was sometimes yellow and I could not breathe. Mom was pregnant with Debbie, and Gary and I rode in the backseat separated by a round tank full of Dad's tropical fish. Dad had a job with Sealright, Inc which made paper milk cartons. Sealright was a polyethylene packing subsidiary of Phillips 66. The petroleum company. I was rather proud of myself for learning to say that, and to not laugh when adults would stare at me not knowing what to ask about that. Albuquerque smelled better. Then. Before all the freeways were built and the shape of the valley trapped the exhaust down near the ground in the winter months. We lived in the foothills. I could breathe. I learned that if I could see the air I could not. Still it was better than El Paso though I missed our trip
Read more