Sometimes our losses are real and concrete like losing a beloved pet or dear friend to cancer. And sometimes our losses are more on the nature of just learning the true nature of someone or something. We all tell ourselves fairy tales about people, places and organizations. We want to believe like Anne Frank that all people are essentially good at heart. Denial is a goddess given survival tool after all.
I realized a long time ago it isn't healthy to carry baggage around and yet I seem at times to be surrounded by people that do. And yet I want to believe they do not. I feel so betrayed when they pull from the past some sin they believe I have committed and must now pay for. I hate it when they bring out a long laundry list I in part cannot even remember and give me no time to explain or counter.
And yet if I were to sit down and bring up my list which I have forgiven them for they would shout me down as if I was making all that up.
It is so much easier to love my fur kids. They love me back so unconditionally. And are so much harder to say goodbye too. And that is because they were always real and not just shadows. They are who they are and not who I imagined them to be. They are not just shadows of what I believe.