Necessary Losses

Shadow People

Sometimes our losses are real and concrete like losing a beloved pet or dear friend to cancer. And sometimes our losses are more on the nature of just learning the true nature of someone or something. We all tell ourselves fairy tales about people, places and organizations. We want to believe like Anne Frank that all people are essentially good at heart. Denial is a goddess given survival tool after all.

I realized a long time ago it isn't healthy to carry baggage around and yet I seem at times to be surrounded by people that do. And yet I want to believe they do not. I feel so betrayed when they pull from the past some sin they believe I have committed and must now pay for. I hate it when they bring out a long laundry list I in part cannot even remember and give me no time to explain or counter.

And yet if I were to sit down and bring up my list which I have forgiven them for they would shout me down as if I was making all that up.

It is so much easier to love my fur kids. They love me back so unconditionally. And are so much harder to say goodbye too. And that is because they were always real and not just shadows. They are who they are and not who I imagined them to be. They are not just shadows of what I believe.


Comments

  1. ShaynacwingsSeptember 7, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    The painting is beautiful Jacqui and I know exactly where you are coming from.
    The people I know can't understand why I am a loner or even that is my choice. I prefer animals to people, for the same reasons you do.
    Huggles.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Terry RoweSeptember 7, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    Our animals have no expectations of us - and they don't hold past transgressions against us as they live in the here and now...not "what have you done for me lately."

    I must say, I've grieved more for the loss of a beloved animal companion than I have for the loss of some people.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Blog of BeeSeptember 7, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    Regardless of what you say I can read in between the lines of the pain and the hurt. Life throws crap at us when we least expect it and we know then that our original thoughts on the people we misguidedly let back into our lives because we thought this time around it would be better, will never materialize. It may seem so initially but eventually people who are carrying baggage, resentment anger for whatever reason will always throw it back at you. It is then we need to remove ourselves to preserve our sanity and self worth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JBinford-BellSeptember 7, 2013 at 5:43 PM

      Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice then shame on me. She has proven she will believe what she wants to believe regardless of the truth. You cannot rely on someone loke that.

      Delete
  4. ShaynacwingsSeptember 8, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    You certainly can do without the negativity that is for sure. I don't let anyone like that near me anymore, and I am blunt, possibly even rude when I tell them where to go.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CatherineSeptember 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

    Humans are imperfect. Animals look past these imperfections and focus on the joy of being with us in spite of our flaws....wish people would learn this valuable lesson in life.
    Forgiving and moving forward with relationships is essential for growth...when this can't happen we can get stuck in a very unhealthy cycle of blame and anger which holds nothing for either party. I simply won't engage with people who don't honor a relationship enough to find a positive way to deal with problems....life is just too short !

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.

Popular posts from this blog

Polyethylene Packaging - a Dark Times Journal entry

Image
I was in the fourth grade when our family moved from El Paso, Texas to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We moved because I could not breathe the air there. I want to say they cracked petroleum there. But what did I know beyond the sky was sometimes yellow and I could not breathe. Mom was pregnant with Debbie, and Gary and I rode in the backseat separated by a round tank full of Dad's tropical fish. Dad had a job with Sealright, Inc which made paper milk cartons. Sealright was a polyethylene packing subsidiary of Phillips 66. The petroleum company. I was rather proud of myself for learning to say that, and to not laugh when adults would stare at me not knowing what to ask about that. Albuquerque smelled better. Then. Before all the freeways were built and the shape of the valley trapped the exhaust down near the ground in the winter months. We lived in the foothills. I could breathe. I learned that if I could see the air I could not. Still it was better than El Paso though I missed our trip...
Read more

Swimming

Image
For much of my college career my fitness workout was swimming on the B squad of the swim team. I remember it as the days before heated pools and women coaches. I also remember being so exhausted and cold I could only lean against the shower wall and throw up. Not exactly warm fuzzy images but I was in awesome shape. Needless to say it did not leave me with a overpowering desire to swim laps. Point of fact for years my swimming became really informal: Swimming to shore after the canoe tipped over, challenging my sister once a summer to across the lake and back, seeing how long I could back float without moving a muscle, and a scuba course. I also played around with other ways of staying fit: aerobics, bicycling, jogging, skiing and dance classes. All of which seem to be bad for the knees, back or feet. After my ski accident my physical therapist steered me back to the pool. Damn if I was going to swim laps! However, aqua fit was just getting rather seriously taken so I took it. It r...
Read more

The Pruning the Crown of Thorns

Image
Crown of Thorns Before I am a lover of Euphorbias . They are from the deserts of Southern Africa and Madagascar. They have evolved physical characteristics and forms similar to cacti of North and South America and are often incorrectly referred to as cacti. My big Crown of Thorns was one of my first of a growing collection of these succulents from the spurge family of Euphorbiaceae. I picked it up as a 6 inch plant in a New Iberia nursery when my sister and I were touring the northern gulf coast. I believe that was 15 years ago. I made an attempt at limiting its height a few years back to allow it to devote more energy to the new branches and make it a denser plant. That failed. And the height of the plant continued to challenge the window space and soon the long branches were leaning over and leaning against the window. I googled and found the proper way to prune this treasured plant. Still it was very difficult to cut off the four longer branches. Even with a plan. The f...
Read more