Saturday, September 7, 2013

Necessary Losses

Shadow People

Sometimes our losses are real and concrete like losing a beloved pet or dear friend to cancer. And sometimes our losses are more on the nature of just learning the true nature of someone or something. We all tell ourselves fairy tales about people, places and organizations. We want to believe like Anne Frank that all people are essentially good at heart. Denial is a goddess given survival tool after all.

I realized a long time ago it isn't healthy to carry baggage around and yet I seem at times to be surrounded by people that do. And yet I want to believe they do not. I feel so betrayed when they pull from the past some sin they believe I have committed and must now pay for. I hate it when they bring out a long laundry list I in part cannot even remember and give me no time to explain or counter.

And yet if I were to sit down and bring up my list which I have forgiven them for they would shout me down as if I was making all that up.

It is so much easier to love my fur kids. They love me back so unconditionally. And are so much harder to say goodbye too. And that is because they were always real and not just shadows. They are who they are and not who I imagined them to be. They are not just shadows of what I believe.


  1. The painting is beautiful Jacqui and I know exactly where you are coming from.
    The people I know can't understand why I am a loner or even that is my choice. I prefer animals to people, for the same reasons you do.

  2. Our animals have no expectations of us - and they don't hold past transgressions against us as they live in the here and now...not "what have you done for me lately."

    I must say, I've grieved more for the loss of a beloved animal companion than I have for the loss of some people.

  3. Regardless of what you say I can read in between the lines of the pain and the hurt. Life throws crap at us when we least expect it and we know then that our original thoughts on the people we misguidedly let back into our lives because we thought this time around it would be better, will never materialize. It may seem so initially but eventually people who are carrying baggage, resentment anger for whatever reason will always throw it back at you. It is then we need to remove ourselves to preserve our sanity and self worth.

    1. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice then shame on me. She has proven she will believe what she wants to believe regardless of the truth. You cannot rely on someone loke that.

  4. You certainly can do without the negativity that is for sure. I don't let anyone like that near me anymore, and I am blunt, possibly even rude when I tell them where to go.

  5. Humans are imperfect. Animals look past these imperfections and focus on the joy of being with us in spite of our flaws....wish people would learn this valuable lesson in life.
    Forgiving and moving forward with relationships is essential for growth...when this can't happen we can get stuck in a very unhealthy cycle of blame and anger which holds nothing for either party. I simply won't engage with people who don't honor a relationship enough to find a positive way to deal with is just too short !


I write for me but I care what my readers think. Please be polite and no scamming.