I am reading Anne Perry's second book of her WWI trilogy: Shoulder the Sky. Reading about a chaplain on the front lines having to bolster the faith of others can be a bit depressing. How does one keep the faith that this too shall pass? Let alone spread a positive message to the soldiers on the front lines about a loving god.
There are months that just get you down. February is a month with low cosmic energy (sorry, but cannot think of another way of expressing that). But I have decided to do something stressful like diet. And my two year battle against my contractor-from-hell comes to a head the 19th of March. Shrinks will tell you there are more suicides in this month than December, which most of us believe with Christmas depression. And those among us fighting chronic illness go through the biggest crises in February. And those with fatal illnesses die.
Mortuaries hate the month. The ground is frozen but more people die than any other month discounting those with a WWI German poisoned gas attack (back to that book I am reading). Which reminds me of the episode of Northern Exposure when the mayor must come up with a list of graves to be dug before winter sets in. I thought it was macabre humor until winter loomed with an aging and infirm fur kid in residence.
I don't mean to sound trivial about any of this though sometimes the only thing that gets us through the hard times is a sense of humor. I have two friends with serious health issues. Another that has threatened suicide. Losing my house terrifies me, and some days dying sounds easier then continuing to fight. There are days for all of us when it just seems we cannot handle one more bit of bad news. Which brings me to the picture I am using as an illustration for this blog. As my frequent readers know, I am not a conventional religious person. But I do gleam life lessons from the stories of the prophets and saints. There may not be life after death. Or another life after this one ends. But living has shown me that generally even the worst situation gets better eventually.
It is that eventually that often gets me down. I am not a patient person. I am much better than avoiding the issues until someone tries to drive a nail through my hand. It often seems as if any personal hell we are going through will just never end. I think it is wise to remember that even Jesus on the cross had his doubts. Doubting is not wrong. Just don't do anything permanent during those moments of doubt.