Sidetracked Charley

I began journalling when I was in my late 20's. First I filled spiral notebooks and then moved on to bound sketchbooks that I sometimes covered elaborately. They were a mix of poetry and sketches and events in my life. I have them still - some filled to the brim and some only begun before chaos pulled me away from that particular journal. But I do go back to journalling. And I do refer back to events and pictures and insights in the old ones on my book shelves. Since the advent of blogging my journalling has switched to the Internet. Y360 was my first exploration of this new means of putting thoughts to paper. And when it closed down I realized there were some very significant blogs amidst the trivial day by day stuff. All the blogs are now on Profiles but I transferred significant ones to Chats with Charley II unwilling to again put all my eggs in one basket. When the court adjourned on Friday I realized there was some confusion over just what happened in June 2007 and want o...

Life is about balance, alignment, harmony, and unity; from balance in your Chakras to the Greek ideal of moderation in all things. Including, I believe, moderation. Life can be a pendulum that swings to the extremes at times. But it is always good to get back to your center. I whine recently. It was my day to whine. I really needed to whine. It was good for my soul. And I was very gratified that one of my whines - the absence of my modem for my Qwest DSL - was heard and honored with an offer for assistance from Qwest. This is the second time I have mentioned a product or service in a blog and gotten a response. The first was with Swanson Vitamins. I love their product and their commitment to the environment but putting their vitamins in appropriately sized containers. Admittedly there have been lots of times I have bitched and moaned about a company and been once more ignored. Amazon is one of those. Everyone raves about Amazon.com but I have had very few positive experiences with...

There are times life seems very difficult to navigate, the path perilous, the whole journey out of our control. And any and all attempts to change direction or pick a safer route are rebuffed letting us know quite totally we have no options but to keep on keeping on. So do you just let go? If you are hanging on to the edge of a cliff with your finger nails then letting go does not seem an option unless you have recently decided you can fly. And W.C. Fields said even a dead fish can swim downhill. Still, riding a runaway horse in the direction it is going is easier. And actually one of the only ways to regain control of it. Rather like steering a car sliding on ice the way it is skidding even if that is a cliff edge. Bottom line there are no easy answers. And nobody on the outside can really know what your decision should be. Or decisions. The last few weeks has certainly shown that life is complex enough that one answer does not fit all. I had to fight about the modem and I had to...

Qwest, my telephone provider and maybe eventually my DSL provider, called yesterday with an automated message saying they were now billing me for my DSL. They gave me a number to call if that was not appropriate. It wasn't. I have yet to receive me modem due here last Friday. That is the bad news. The good news is my old ISP has been as responsive as ever and ergo not disconnected that service which actually seems to be working for the first time in a month. I think that is proof it was their fault and not mine. Turns out the number Qwest (as efficient as old Ma Bell) gave me was the incorrect one. It assumed a technical issue. And technically it was. They mailed the modem to the wrong address after my very carefully delivered instructions about not the rural route box! So my modem is in Las Vegas and has been there since Friday. I would be coping since I am not without internet except this morning we have one of those snow storms that sticks to the satellite dish and I have been...

I admit to totally vegging out yesterday - or as a friend suggested took some serious down time. I just knitted, watched DVD's, caught up with some friends on the telephone, and bonded with fur kids. Stress, especially prolonged and continual stress, does have an effect on mind and body - any body - but more so if you have had a CBT or suffer from fibro. Today I am actually going to have Monday Morning Chat over Coffee with two artist friends and Katherine's new studio. Us artists love to show off our studios to other artists. But there is an added incentive to go as John, Katherine's husband, is catering. Boy! Can John ever cook! More about this gathering later no doubt. My modem for my new DSL is suppose to arrive today. Interesting enough my satellite seems to be working well. No doubt that ISP solved MY equipment problem without showing up at my door which lends credibility to my argument it was their equipment problem. Too late, Jose. And for future reference let i...

Sitting in the court room listing to the testimony of the plaintiff and his witnesses was rather like going through the looking glass with Alice. The world as I know it seemed to be turned upside down. The contractor's version of things was so far from my own as to be almost laughable if it was not what I was going to be judged against. So much of this case is he said/she said. But he did make a couple blatantly erroneous claims that we can prove wrong - one with the drawings themselves and the engineer's testimony and the other with a photograph. He did amend his lien downwards from 21,600 to 14,300 based on the fact he did not give me credit for a couple payments. And that makes the lien on its face in error and may mean it gets dropped on a legal issue. But he got one of his carpenters to lie for him. My team was able to trip him up on cross. Lies, especially reluctant ones, are difficult to maintain. The contractor claims he had a written contract with me and that I st...

The St. James Hotel in beautiful downtown Cimarron, New Mexico is a great placed to take visitors to our state. It was the center of the wild west and claims as guests Pat Garret, of Billy the Kid Fame, Bat Masterson, and Black Jack Ketchum to name a few. It was a bar brawl including Jack that made for a couple of the ghosts that are said to still wonder the halls. It was not on my itinerary for Friday but a spring snow storm changed my plans. And the plans of several hundreds of spring breakers. From Raton to Angel Fire Cimarron canyon is a required bottleneck. The narrow twisting road that winds beside the Cimarron River and the Palisades is challenging driving in the best of times. Add ten inches of snow, growing dusk and five wrecked vehicles and the State Police consider it impossible. We were all directed to the St. James for dinner and/or drinks to await the clearing of the wrecks. The St. James has an excellent kitchen and it was a wee past dinner time. Dinner time was when...

There are times when you can stand in miles of badlands and feel totally embraced and cared for. And other times when you are in the middle of a crowd and feel totally alone and isolated. There are instances when you know only you can do what needs to be done whether it is make your way out of the wilderness or to the other side of the crowd. You look for reference points to guide you and yet they seem to be cast into the shadows or erased by the mob. In the past difficult times in my live seem to be surrounded by isolation. When I most want to reach out and touch someone or gather their assistance or guidance they are unavailable. And now is no different in many ways. Pivotal people are out of range to contact. My ISP service goes down when I am most dependent upon e-mail for communication with my legal staff. In the past I have wondered if this is merely spirit's way of telling me to look inside for help and not depend upon others. It is me that must find the answers. Still ...

A friend of mine in Blogland said she just wanted to hide yesterday. I can certainly understand the sentiment but I was so out of it yesterday I did not even get an opportunity to think about hiding until this morning. Then I just wished I had. Instead I operated on automatic pilot getting signals from the legal team on seek and find missions and the infamous "only three more questions" which occurred no fewer than three times. Then there was trying to find a reasonable hotel room in Raton, New Mexico. I was doing Priceline.com because of limited budget considerations. The sleepy little county seat of Raton is on Interstate 25 heading north to Denver and has no hotel beyond 2 1/2 stars. It goes for $107 a night! I don't sleep in one star hotels so I made a bid on a two star. They wouldn't take them. I get to try today. Meanwhile can anyone tell me whether they have struck gold again in that town? I was trying the artistic version of hiding which is escape into pa...

I saw Alice in Wonderland, or is it Underland, yesterday. It was a day that began badly. First my bathroom scale broke. Then the satellite internet. I, and my friends, were trying to beat a storm over and back to Taos and conflicting weather reports did not give us warm and fuzzy feelings about the venture. But go we did. And when I left my modem still had not captured a satellite. I was in etherland withdrawals. We arrived at the Taos hot spot, Micheal's Kitchen, confronted by a bit of a line and realization it was spring break for most of Texas and all of Oklahoma. We began to dread what we might find at the local movie house. It was packed but we did get in line early and with good seats after a very good brunch. And endless chatter. Ronnie says men need about 100 words a day and women require 1500. His wife, Jessica, and I being artists we go for days without meeting our quota; alone, isolated in our studios talking to paints and silver that don't answer back. So line wa...

Elizabeth Swann - Pirate King A friend of mine who is trying to find her level of peace in a new and alien environment she chose wrote recently of closeting herself in her room with re-runs of Frazer, the television sitcom of the past. I bought a DVD set of the old Bonanza series. Good always trumped evil in the old west of Ben and his three boys; Hoss, Little Joe and Adam. I also recently re-watched the Pirates of the Caribbean trio of films. At Worlds End is by far my favorite for any number of reasons beginning with Johnny Depp and continuing on to Elizabeth Swann - Pirate King! But I particularly like one of the closing scenes where Becket, the evil commercially driven leader, tharns out and goes down with his shredded ship. I find a great deal of hope in that image and image my contractor as Becket. Which all leads to my conclusion that film and television are our modern myths. Chose the right mythical icons and they can give you hope and inner strength. Choose the wrong ones a...

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time I like the Oscars for two things: The best and Worst on the Red Carpet, and a list of films to add to my NetFlix Queue. So with the internet there is no longer a reason to watch the impossibly long homage to the movie media. I just get all my information from the Internet - including best and worst moments thanks to YouTube. Pixars UP - Best Animated Feature So here I sit with my short list of films that had merit as far as the Academy. And my list. Frankly, I don't think I am going to see The Hurt Locker . It looks like merely viewing it might hurt. I have a very strong sense of empathy. And I have my doubts about being able to identify with Preciou s. Julie and Julia is already on my NetFlix queue and next up to be mailed to me. Up in the Air is definitely going on the list. And I must admit it is there because of George Clooney. And Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is on my list because of Jake Gyllenhaal and costumes. I guess I a...

The day time temperatures have been above freezing and to a good ten degrees some days. This on top of three feet of wet snow in a week and something has to give. Obviously you would say the snow, but if you were to look out my window it would seem that just as much is there as was before. Snow melts funny. It seems to do it from the bottom up. The moonlight shining on the snow fields this morning indicates that there is a glaze on the snow so some melting must happen where exposed to the sun, but all the melted snow is under it. It seeps out on to any area that has been cleared of snow by graders or shovel and forms puddles, and on our improved dirt roads - mud. And where you cannot see this dissolving of snow into water it sneaks downhill toward streams and bar ditches and culverts and, oh yes, Lake Coyote! It is no doubt expanding under its blanket of snow. It is this slow seeping of moisture under the snow pack that is so beneficial to our forests. It increases the moisture in...

Where did February go? Have you ever wondered why we could not take a couple days from months with 31 days and give them to February? Whatever would be wrong with that. And on leap year it would have 31. Still no problem because six months have 31 now and four would still have after surrendering a day to February. Who thinks up these things? Anyway February is gone, and in my opinion, two days early. Which makes me late for all those things I had put a March 1st deadline on. Here it is March 1 and my taxes are not prepared for the CPA, I don't have my painting inventory spread sheet even begun, or the weight lost I wanted to lose, etc. The list goes on. Two more days would have helped. Though given that February is such an awful month perhaps it should be shorter. We could do away with it all together but then I suppose March would be awful then and we would be yet another month away from spring flowers. Maybe this blog should be Mindless Monday Morning Mumbling over coffee....