Friday, June 25, 2010
Attachment Disorder - Third Verse
I don't care what you want and what you agree he is willing to let you have, once you say I do he won't. Men are the masters of bait and switch. My most recent ex-husband told me constantly before we were married that he loved my independence and self-reliance but his needy ex-wife got all his attention, money, and time. (And he remarried her. I was just a sandwich wife.)
And believe me I fought for my rights. I had this downstairs office/studio where I wrote free lance articles and also made my masks. I posted "office hours" on the refrigerator. These were times I was to not be disturbed for anything short of a forest fire evacuation. I was NEVER in that office when he did not knock at least once for something petty. Like where I hid the clean towels in plain sight.
I could say it was just Marc, but Bruce always got drunk and vanished when I needed the Suburban to go to a fair with my weaving, and John would "drop in" to corporate headquarters drunk as a skunk and require a ride home.
Men are extremely nearsighted in my experience from Dad to brother to boyfriends to husbands. They do not see further than their own wants once they are sure of you. And no this is not my blind spot. Let's just look at religion. In the Muslim faith all the women will wait on the men in the afterlife. With Mormons the reason against women divorcing and re-marrying is that they would have divided loyalties in heaven. The Catholic's burned witches at the stake because after the plague, where more women survived than men, they owned property - heaven forbid. And in the last ten years the Baptist synod decided women were always to be submissive to their husbands.
Modern man has learned to pay a certain lip service to the desires of his mate. This is in part because women no longer NEED men and they have begun to see that just maybe they have to make us want them. But most men seem to be high maintenance and low return. Just enough of the good ones exist to make hope spring eternal. Who wouldn't welcome a help mate through life - someone to do those chores you haven't the time or energy for. But beware Lowe's and Home Depot now report that up to 70% of all lawn and power tools are now sold to women. AND not as gifts for men. It is just easier to mow the lawn yourself especially when Toro has redesigned the power mower so even women can start it. NOTE: to all makers of chain saws. You have continued to ignore female users of this tool. Get wise.
Today women can buy houses without men on the loan application. You can even have their tubes tied without father's or husband's permission (something I fought for in the early 70's), and you can go out to eat or to a movie alone. Even carry a hand gun! Or, and this is one of my favorites, buy sports clothing designed for women! Yes, we hunt and fish!
And more and more women are choosing to not be attached to a man. Unless he is rich beyond your wildest dreams there is not much of an upside to love, honor and obey in this day and age. What the mental health community calls attachment disorder is becoming closer to the norm. What is increasingly out of the normal range are those women that MUST have a man in their lives regardless of the cost.