Thursday, June 17, 2010
I have always loved this Andy Warhol painting of Marilyn Monroe (also a Gemini) because without a single change of expression the colors change her Mercurial mood. Like many an actress she had mastered the "looking good" facial expressions. I can be really good at that myself.
For a month now everyone has been asking me how I was. And I have been saying, "Fine. Just Busy." It wasn't like my husband had died. Mind you I have had one or two I would have cheered had they died. Sorry about that. Having my sister's husband die suddenly seemed rather removed from me so why shouldn't I be fine. If I had worked at a mainstream company I would not even have merited compassionate leave beyond attending the funeral.
Maybe it is just my close tie with my sister. I can so often read her mind even when separated by states. But it dawned on me this morning that I am not "fine-just-busy." Yes, I am busy and it borders on frantic. And now the little accidents have crept in. This happens when I ignore an issue. I tripped over my shop vac yesterday. Hell, it is 3 feet tall. Looks like R2D2 but I tripped over it. Nice bruise forming. And the broken saw must be something I am not paying attention to - mind elsewhere. And I stopped taking paintings off the studio wall yesterday when I realized my balance was not what it should be to be on a ladder. Stress can do that.
But taking a break (be it compassionate or otherwise) is not possible until Monday. So like Marilyn I will just smile for the camera.