Sidetracked Charley

 The Other Side of Tomorrow My father spent seven weeks on a ventilator in a Kansas City, Missouri ICU dying. We all knew this was not the life he wanted. He had a living will which said so. But Missouri did not recognize living wills. He had no right to die in that state. So he was held in suspension in some place between life and death. And so were we. Our lives revolved around the ICU waiting room. With other's whose loved ones were held hostage. We waited for the bad news which could set us free. And we crocheted and knitted, and worked crossword puzzles in increasingly larger book collections of same. And I drove back and forth from work and hospital and my parent's home where I slept fitfully if at all. And the FM radio station my car radio was tuned to seemed to always play Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle. If I could save time in a bottle The first thing I that I'd like to do Is save every day 'Til eternity passes away Just to spend them with you But we cannot c...

Steve Oliver by Janet Oliver My neighbor and husband of my best friend died the 10th of July. Eight and a half years ago he was diagnosed with a deadly cancer caused by Agent Orange. It is currently taking out a huge number of our Vietnam Veterans and not in a gentle way. Steven Ryan Oliver would have been 68 this August. And like his service in Vietnam as a Marine, he beat some long odds to make it this far. May he rest in peace. My experience with having him and my friend as neighbors was eye opening about the American way of death and dying. If you do not have an extended family being a care taker for someone with cancer might just kill you. The statistics are against you. I long ago dedicated myself to helping Janet through this ordeal. And she has had to totally put her own life on hold because of the care and attention he required. Even at those times when he seemed to be functioning well to the community. Until you have been there you have no idea. On Good Friday th...